When people get caught in lies and uncomfortable situations they find themselves with usually two choices. They can decide to own their behavior and atone for what they did or attempt to justify the reasons for their behaviors. I seldom notice people stating that they behaved poorly anymore. It seems in this me, me, me ultimate selfishness world we live in today people either attempt to shift blame on others for how they misbehaved, use justification or rationalization for their behaviors, or simply do not care how their behavior affects other people. In any case these are the excuses most often used to attempt to justify or use as reasons for their indiscretions.
The affair helped me find who I am
Affair had nothing to do with you (it's me, not you)
It just happened
People are just not supposed to monogamous
Felt they needed space
Affair helped blow off steam and put some much needed fun in my life
Wanted to know if I was still sexually desirable to others
Believes spicing up the relationship with an affair would help a lackluster relationship
Felt relationship was boring
Friends talked me into cheating
Men just cheat
I have a sex addiction
Relationship was over long before I cheated or cites relationship as excuse for infidelity
Partner uses mental and emotional health as an excuse, or states they have issues/problems
Believes they found someone more suitable for them in the affair partner
I could not say no
I was seduced
Fear of committing to one person for a long period of time
Affair partner was too perfect to turn down
I needed to be with someone who cared for me
Affair was easy way to attempt to end relationship
I was drunk
I needed some excitement, something new and fresh sexually
I always wondered what it would be like to be with affair partner (old flames, high school sweetheart, one that got away, etc.)
Wanted to look and see if I was missing anything from the relationship by engaging in affair
I needed something to make me feel better
Wanted new sexual experiences
Revenge to get back at partner
Midlife crisis occurring and feeling unsure about place in life
Went looking for emotional and sexual needs elsewhere because I was unhappy
Please note that the above excuses are not acceptable reasons for cheating. There are no acceptable reasons for cheating, affairs, and infidelity with others when in a committed relationship. Like the above title suggests these are just excuses to attempt to shift blame or limit accountability for ones actions. I find it kind of convenient that these excuses or character flaws were seldom suggested, omnipresent, or communicated early in the relationship when their partner could have made a decision about the person before the relationship became more serious.
