Cheaters Efforts Towards Reconciliation

After an affair is discovered there is a lot of hard work to be done by both partners. The work that lies ahead for a couple deciding to reconcile their relationship after an affair will take many months and often years to make their relationship fully functional again. The aching pain and feelings of betrayal will never allow the relationship to ever be the same even if full reconciliation does occur but many couples do report success in repairing a relationship after an affair. It takes a very strong individual to forgive a cheating partner and attempt to move forward in a relationship where they have been betrayed. It is my opinion that the cheating partner must prove themselves honorably to the betrayed partner after an affair. This means that the cheater must acknowledge how they have negatively impacted the relationship with the betrayed partner. This sounds obvious but many individuals that cheat expect both themselves and their tormented partners to just move on with no sympathy or little empathy of the agony their behavior has caused. The affair between the wandering partner and the affair partner must cease with absolutely no contact in the future. I recommend that marriage counseling should be implemented to boost effective communication and both partners in the relationship identify perceived root causes of the affair. The process of healing from an affair is only as good as the effectiveness of a couple's communication and a neutral third party from a professional who can assist in this process. The individual who was cheated on has a relationship to put back together and the arduous task of repairing a deflated sense of self which almost always accompanies finding out an individual has been cheated on. The wandering partner must be willing to do anything within reason to resolve the issues that will lead to reconciliation from an affair. It is important that the cheating partner understand their triggers towards cheating, their weaknesses for certain individuals, and temptations that chronically have overwhelmed them in the past. Failure of the wandering partner to learn these triggers and correct their behaviors related to certain triggers and situations increases the likelihood of continued affairs. These concerns will require active communication and stating these triggers if feeling them during the reconciliation phase. Both partners should work towards sharing feelings and concerns through communication versus acting out their frustrations behaviorally. Cheating and infidelity to do not suddenly come to a screeching halt because the betrayed partner has found out about the affair. The cheater must be the individual that does much of the leg work and actively work towards repairing the relationship with the betrayed partner. If the betrayed partner finds themselves doing more of the work towards reconciliation than the cheating partner then a reassessment of the decision to reconcile may be in order.