Taking Advice From Others Regarding Affair

Infidelity will test your personal support systems and you will find out who your real friends are rather quickly once experiencing the turmoil of infidelity. I leaned on every friend I had during those few months I tried to repair my relationship. It is very important that you utilize your support system as a betrayed partner for no other reason than to just keep your mind off of the relationship for a few hours. No matter how strong a person you believe you are infidelity is a battle that is very difficult to endure alone. The reason I bring this up is because while I want you to manage and lean on those that support you as a betrayed partner but do not blindly follow the advice from all your friends, family and other supportive relationships. When I was cheated on by my girlfriend I recall first informing friends and family about this situation they almost all uniformly stated that I should dump my lying cheating girlfriend as if she was nuclear waste spiking radioactivity to my Geiger counter. I found this advice from person after person and I wanted to make sure I was thinking clearly and not making any hasty decisions regarding my relationship. When others are on the outside looking in they often have a protective interest in their friend or family (the betrayed partner) and often have a hardened stance towards those that cheat. I heard all the explanations on what others would do in my situations. The individuals that had the most hardened advice where often the ones with experience with infidelity or affairs in their relationships. Their tolerance for individuals who cheat was nil having personal experience with infidelity. Many of these friends were projecting their frustrations with their personal experience with cheaters but have also been through the pain and understand why a person should lean towards exiting a relationship versus attempting reconciliation after an affair. While their advice may be valuable it is often easy for others to make a decision about your relationship when they are not emotionally involved. It is easy to feel confident in letting go of a person whom you have shared intimate portions of your life with in the company of your support system but when alone the decision becomes more challenging. I was with my girlfriend for five years and found it difficult to immediately throw the hammer down on her as my friends suggested. Many people I talk with regarding infidelity state that cheating is a deal breaker and the relationship should end immediately after discovering the affair. Years later when these individuals face the same demon as I did in infidelity they were not as cut and try as they presented to me when I was in my predicament. This ultimately is a decision that you are going to have to weigh and make on your own. Do not be swayed and place too much credibility in those that portray an all or nothing stance on infidelity. Many couples meander the river of infidelity and find peace and fulfillment in their relationships later. Trust can be restored, respect regained, and relationships can be repaired in time.