Affair Fog

After discovering a partner's affair you will have much to think about. Do you reconcile the relationship? Should you leave the relationship? If you have children how will the affair affect them? Often you have another powerful adversary in working towards reconciliation after an affair and that is your wandering partner's mind. Once an affair begins the wandering partner begins experiencing a self-induced brainwashing about the strength of the relationship between themselves and their affair partner. Most individuals know affairs are wrong and so to rationalize their behaviors to coincide with their decision to cheat the wandering partner begins to shape their own reality in their minds. The wandering partner begins to amplify the weaknesses of the betrayed partner. They become angry for feeling imprisoned in a life of unhappiness for so long due to their betrayed spouse. The wandering partner appears hypnotized with a mantra in which they embellish the negativity of the primary relationship for their own advocacy. The wandering partner even begins to scroll back through time believing they were never really in love with the betrayed partner. The happiness they recall were but blemishes on their unfulfilled miserable relationships. At the same time the affair partner is placed on a pedestal from the wandering partner. Their characteristics fill their needs perfectly and the wandering partner suddenly believes in destiny as a result of finding their affair partner. They feel like they have found their soul mate, the long lost love that has been missing to make them whole. The connection is believed to be so powerful. The affair partner's imperfections are overlooked if ever even noticeable by the wandering partner. The wandering partner is in an affair fog; a fantasy filled with distortion with no ability to make any rational decision about the state of their affair. Betrayed partners, spouses, children, family members and friends become collateral damage to the wandering partner's complicated outlook. Affair fog is a very difficult barrier for couples attempting reconciliation to work through. The wandering partner often cites confusion or not knowing what to do about the affair relationship once it is discovered. This often leads to major mood swings and fits of anger by the wandering partner because they enjoyed having their cake and eating it too. The discovery of the affair jeopardizes their pleasurable side dish and the threat of losing their affair partner mimics a junkie losing their favorite hidden stash. This confusion the wandering partner states is usually a stall tactic while they resume the affair for a while longer to continue feeding their addictive feelings. Before the affair was discovered the wandering partner had moments of intense excitement as a result of having someone else paying attention to them. The affair partner fed their ego, boosted their self-worth and injected feelings of feeling desirable. The sneaking around of the affair intensifies the feelings of passion which is often confused with love. The intoxication that the wandering partner feels becomes addictive in nature and they risk everything to be with their affair partner. The wandering partner believes that the happiness they are feeling is unique and too intense to be counterfeit love. No matter how many friends, family and coworkers plead with the wandering partner to make a responsible decision and end the affair their mind is often so deteriorated and unable to completely leave their affair partner. The wandering partner is living in a delusion basking in loves afterglow. When reconciling a relationship as a result of infidelity the first step is insisting on breaking contact with the affair partner. Given the state of mind of many wandering partners it is too painful to simply just break free cold turkey. There are severe feelings of withdrawal like any relationship breakup and many wandering partners do reestablish contact weeks, months, and even years with their affair partners after given an ultimatum by a relationship partner working towards reconciliation. The affair fog can last weeks or several months after the discovery of the affair. The best predictors of shortening the period of fog are how well a wandering partner is willing to work towards reconciliation. A remorseful partner that establishes clear no contact boundaries with their affair partner will snap out of the affair much quicker than a partner whom has sporadic contact with their affair partner. Taking active steps to strengthen and rebuild your relationship after an affair will peel back the drapes of the affair fog much more quickly than a couple just going through the motions of reconciliation. Many individuals have left marriages, healthy relationships and lifelong commitments after being consumed by the thickening of the affair fog only to grasp reality when it was too late. The wandering partner having lost their primary partner is forced to move on with their life with great regret what was truly lost.

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