It's Facebooks Fault

Recently I have heard several friends and others citing a new culprit for the demise of their relationship; Facebook. I am not really sure I can agree with Facebook for breaking up a relationship anymore than I can blame my consumption of fast food for not allowing me to lose weight. I will concede that Facebook makes reconnecting with others from our past really easy and accessible. It takes very little work to type in the name of our first loves using social media sites, college sweethearts or even recent relationship partners. Facebook makes getting in touch with our blasts from the past easier but like all technology it is the person accessing the technology who is responsible for the decision to cheat, not Facebook. The individuals who used Facebook to cheat would have eventually found another way to cheat if Facebook was unavailable. Unfortunately, cheaters are selfish spoiled people who will use any medium to cheat. If Facebook was not available they would have turned to a dating website with a hidden I.D, used their cell phones to carry on an affair or even escort services to serve their particular needs. When relationships begin to have their difficulties many people think back to happier relationships which often takes many back to our younger years. The years of first boyfriends and girlfriends, first kisses and first sexual experiences are often locked away in the trophy cases of our heart. As time moves on those moments become looked at with rose colored glasses, the good times cherished are glamorized, the negative aspect of the relationship time has forgotten. Our current personal lives seldom measure up to the fantasy we rewind in our minds of our past relationships. This is the real danger of "catching up" with exes from the past. Old feelings are easily ignited again, mental pictures of sexual experiences move towards the front of the line of images being burned into our current memory. It is easy to sit behind the safety of a computer after connecting with an ex from the past in relative anonymity coaching each other on the perils of current relationships, passing fruitful compliments, increasing current relationship expectations and injecting advice about how current primary partners are not behaving in a manner that each deserve while reminiscing about the past. Facebook allows those who would have never reconnected opportunities to reunite that would most likely never have happened face to face. The asylum of Facebook and home computers have allowed disgruntled relationship partners the opportunity to become active listeners and budding Romeos to those willing to participate from our past. Sites like Facebook are of little concern with individuals who utilize appropriate personal boundaries with others. I never saw a reason to reconnect with my exes over Facebook. A few girlfriends and past crushes have attempted to contact me through Facebook and other similar sites but I have declined these invitations to catch up. They are my exes for a reason so I do not want to put myself in a situation that would jeopardize a current relationship or repeat old issues that led to the relationship breaking down. For those feeling needy, lonely and perhaps frustrated in a relationship, Facebook can hypnotize an individual struggling in a relationship and awaken old emotional feelings quickly before the user even is aware they are in an emotionally affair. It is imperative that should you decide to connect with individuals from your past that you understand warning signs associated with disengaging from you're your primary relationship. Do not flirt or playfully tease with others from your past. When discussing your primary relationship it should be discussed in a positive light. Do not be a willing participant in listening to someone else's marital problems. Discussing your relationship negatively with others opens the door for intimacy and empathy which cultivate feelings from someone other than your primary partner. Never divulge personal information or emotional topics that allow for emotional feelings to be exchanged. This intimacy is taken away from your primary partner and placed with someone else outside of your primary relationship. Soon thoughts, feelings and looking forward to an evening at the computer with the old flame become involuntary reactions and the primary partner becomes secondary in your life. The person connecting with an old flame often must lie and become secretive about the amount of time and energy being spent on this new relationship. Secrecy is the key that opens doors allowing affairs to begin. A rule of thumb is to never communicate in a manner that would upset your partner if they were standing over your shoulder. Reconnecting with an old relationship partner can be curious and it is perfectly normal for a person to wonder how a past partner is doing since your departure. For individuals already in a relationship connecting with old partners often only negatively impact current relationships and separate yourself emotionally from your current partner. In my opinion it is best just to leave all those old loose ends tied and save all your energy for the relationship you are currently in. Why risk reawakening old feelings with a past partner at the expense of a current relationship.