Who Cares Why A Cheater Cheats?

In my opinion, too many people that I assist in the matters of cheating often get too fixated on why their partner cheated when they find out their partner has cheated. While it is important to open the communication between two individuals if they are to ever attempt to work in reconciling after infidelity, I believe too much emphasis is placed on trying to figure out why someone decides to cheat from the betrayed partner. From personal experience I initially asked these same questions when I first found out my girlfriend had cheated. As the shock of the infidelity wore off for me and I regained the ability to think straight, I really did not need to know why she cheated. She cheated and that was a personal choice she made. I did not care if she was thinking about me before she slept with someone else or if she was specifically searching for unmet needs from another person outside our relationship. The reasons why never really became an issue for me because the mental imagery, the thoughts I was placing in my head picturing my girlfriend and the other person she cheated with together gave me more concerns than the reasons why she decided to cheat. These mental images consumed me for weeks while we were together as a couple and when I ended the relationship I was still thinking about the two of them in precarious positions long after I ended our relationship. From time to time I still run into old memories that bring thoughts of her back into my mind for a few moments and the cheating images continue to be burned into my mind. Years later I still see her cheating despite the positive memories we had before that time. This is where the difficulty recovering and moving on from infidelity was for me. I could attempt to forgive but recovery was not possible for me because the pictures of the two of them together in my thoughts never went away. My thoughts of her with someone else never made it possible to trust her again and I could not get the images out of my mind in any suitable fashion to truly make peace with her infidelity. I give all those betrayed spouses, partners, and significant others all the credit in the world for trying to work through the pain of infidelity, forgive, and eventually reconcile. I believe that some cheaters can and do learn from their mistakes. I am one of those people who would not allow a cheater the opportunity of a second offense. To rid the thoughts of my ex-girlfriend sleeping with another man, I needed to rid my ex-girlfriend from my life. Time is an ally of yours and the horrifying pain dealt to a person through infidelity does dissipate eventually.