Exposing The Affair

There may come a time in the relationship where you feel you have run out of options with a wandering partner working towards forgiveness or reconciliation. Some individuals are so consumed with their affair partner that they are incapable of making any rational decisions about their primary relationships. Some wandering partners are so wrapped up in conceitedness that they believe that if they make no changes at all with their affair partner and their primary relationship that they can continue having their cake and eating it too. There is often quite a bit of change from the good person you started dating possibly married to the individual that has cheated and resides in an affair fog. A wandering partner in the affair fog at times seems oblivious to the pain they are causing the betrayed partner despite seeing them hemorrhaging tears hours at time right in front of their eyes. That is why betrayed partners must make life uncomfortable for wandering partners who insist on doing nothing. Often a last resort for a betrayed partner is exposing the affair to those that have access to the listening ear of the wandering partner. I suggest exposing the affair after an ultimatum has been delivered and the wandering partner has chosen not to accept the terms of the ultimatum. This approach is not for everyone and every relationship. There is a real possibility that friends and family of the wandering partner already know about the wandering partners indiscretions. However, the wandering partner may be hiding the affair from close friends, family and coworkers. Contacting the wandering partner's friends and family may assist in someone getting through to the wandering partner regarding the affair. Focus on those close to the wandering partner and inform them that you wish to work on your relationship with them but they are having an affair with another person making reconciliation very difficult. Provide them with e-mails, cell phone messages and other information about the affair if you have it. This does two things. First of all, wandering partners weave a web of lies to those around them regarding their affair and the status of their relationship with the betrayed partner. Informing friends and family of the wandering partner infidelities will get the truth to the inner circle of the wandering partner before they have an opportunity to insert their deceit. Second, a positive relationship with the social circle of the wandering partner should garner support for you and the poor decision that the wandering partner is making. A serendipitous side effect of exposing the relationship is that it will keep the wandering partner guessing perhaps bringing the primary relationship a little more close to the forefront of their thinking. Even as a betrayed partner exposes the relationship, they should continue to gather evidence of the affair, and continue to inform the wandering partner that their behavior will not be tolerated. Next, inform the affair partner and affair partner's inner circle as well. Can you get their friends, coworkers, and family contact information? This is a bold step but saving your relationship often requires very bold measures. Not many affair partners are willing to risk embarrassing employment situations for a relationship they know is unrealistic. At the very least it will send a message to the wandering partner and the affair partner that you are not going to passively sit by while your relationship is devastated and that you are willing to fight for your relationship. If these steps seem futile and the wandering partner does not seem to get the message after a few of these wake up calls, than you really have to ask yourself what you are fighting for. A wandering partner that has an affair discovered usually is remorseful about their actions, accountable, and works their way back towards their primary relationship. If this is not happening, you need to seriously think about ending the relationship and actively protecting yourself financially from the possible fallout if you are married. Begin the process of no contact and removing yourself financially from your partner. If they insist on having an affair do not allow them to do it on your hard earned money. Betrayed spouses are often reluctant to attempt exposing affairs to the wandering partner friends, coworkers and family due to personal embarrassment and out of fear of causing further damage to the relationship. Once those around the wandering partner learn the truth you find yourself with additional allies towards the wandering partner's behaviors and attitudes. When you have a wandering partner, you need every possible ally in snapping them back to reality.