Saturday, December 17, 2011

Unforeseen Consequences Of Affairs



Cheaters are very selfish people unable to see beyond their latest poor choice. Long term relationships, marriages and other romantic relationships are at times difficult and have their problems. The problem is that individuals that make the decision to cheat because they are currently unhappy frequently fail to understand the long term consequences for themselves or those around them. The level of delaying gratification of a cheater rivals that of a three year old presented with the choice of an ice-cream cone now or later; I want what I want now with some self-induced rationalization for beginning the affair along the way. Affairs cause a lot of anxiety to keep them going. If the stress and anxiety from an affair could be harnessed to create power around the planet, the world could shut down every nuclear power plant, oil refinery and other power plant and we could begin powering the rest of the solar system as well. A person engaging in an affair must always be wearing about being caught in their affair. An affair is a life of always looking over your shoulder wondering when it will be discovered. An affair leaves clues in many areas and a cheater has to be on the lookout for evidence that they may have left behind. Did I erase all my text messages, shut my phone down so I could not be contacted at home, and leave any indication of an affair with receipts that my primary partner might see? What if I end up having a child as a result of an affair? What if I bump into someone who knows I am married when out with the affair partner? All of these ideas begin to provoke stress and anxiety on the wandering partner and the face of the wandering partner begins to show it in time. An affair is expensive and can cost a lot of money. Wandering partners often have to spring for hotel rooms, lavish dinners dates and if the wandering partner is attempting to impress the affair partner with jewelry or other expensive gifts the price can appreciate even more to carry out the affair. Wandering female partners often begin changing their dress style, purchasing expensive lingerie and other personal products to impress their partner. As time passes and the affair continues the affair just feels wrong. It's like walking past The Salvation Army Bell Ringer at Christmas and not dropping any money in their bucket as you spend extra money on junk food you did not need. Your primary partner may have no idea an affair is taking place and they do something wonderful for you and this just feels wrong knowing you are bending your affair partner in positions that make a contortionist envious. The guilt associated with an affair begins to make you hate yourself and wish you could take it all back. To rectify these feelings the cheater is experiencing they often begin bringing home gifts to counteract their guilt. Affairs can have alarming physical consequences. One in three individuals has a sexually transmitted infection or disease. It is not out of the realm of possibilities for a cheater to not only catch a sexually transmitted disease but also infect their primary partner. If the stress of these situations does not make a cheater reconsider having an affair they only need to wait until the affair surfaces. Once an affair become known to the primary partner guilt and shame increase exponentially. Every rotten thing that a cheater ever did in their life will feel like a therapeutic massage compared to the personal beating when the betrayed partner finds out about the wandering partner's affair. Once the affair is discovered the betrayed partner's emotional collapse breaks even the most hardened selfish individual. As some of the cheaters begin to dodge vases, personal items and almost anything a betrayed partner can get their hands on the anger turns to exhaustive grief. The thunderous mourning and weeping of a betrayed partner with accompanied hyperventilating makes most cheaters question which sailing helium balloon their soul was attached to when they considered entering an affair. As the sounds of sorrow subside you look at your partner and witness the deepening redness around their sunken eyes as a result of crying all the time. The betrayed partner is pushing out sawdust from their eyes because all their tears have been expelled and the wandering partner can only watch helplessly for inflicting such trauma on a person they professed to love. The betrayed partner is a tortured victim suffering from sleep deprivation, many times weight loss, depression and appears to geometrically age as a result of the inflicted affair. When the cheater attempts to escape these visions in a barricaded room turning towards escape as their partner suffers, they hear faint moans and echoes of agony from their betrayed partner as if they resided in a room next to a torture chamber. As the cheater steps out of the safety of their home friends, family, and others see only a cheater, a soulless individual whose only concerns was themselves and suddenly the affair has defined the wandering partner no matter what acts of heroism or generosity they have bestowed upon the community and others before the affair. Those connected to the betrayed partner hate the wandering partner for what they have done to the betrayed partner. The betrayed partner only wants to know why and frequently the wandering partner has no logical reasons just excuses. If the wandering partner has children the look of disappointment, shame and grief on their faces only add to the guilt. The children are often embarrassed of the wandering partner and side with the betrayed partner. The wandering partner often tip-toes through the home for quite some time to the tune of slammed doors, deadly stares across hall ways and the immediate sounds of dead air crickets if they happen to enter the same room as a family member. The wandering partner's children begin behaviorally acting out away from the home. As the wandering partner addresses the fact that they destroyed their family, and many other relationships around them they hope to attempt recovery but for most relationships cheating is a deal breaker. The wandering partner has lost family, perhaps some friends, maybe even their job as a result of internal selfishness. If reconciliation in the primary relationship is attempted the affair partner is not too happy about being dropped immediately out of the blue without any real closure. Affair partners often do not like losing this relationship and attempt further contact with the wandering partner by phone, e-mail, even work. Affair partners can be difficult to get rid of and their presence only makes the betrayed partner that much more upset and second guessing their choice to reconcile. By the time the affair and recovery have been completed years have gone by and the wandering partner is known as liar and cheat who hurt everyone around themselves out of selfishness. Affairs cause so much destruction to those around the wandering partner that even later adultery rears its ugly head through the children who were exposed to a family members cheating becoming cheaters themselves. Wandering partner's seldom consider what the final outcome will be when they begin an affair. It is a mentality of what have you done for me lately and are driven to be satisfied by others outside of their primary relationship when they are unhappy. Only in the end does the wandering partner see the errors in their ways and by then they have often destroyed families, friends, close contacts and even work relationships in the name of narcissism. A message from the betrayed partner; are you happy now? Was the affair worth it?

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